I think i peed on brittanys purse
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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