did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You made out with two different species that night
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
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The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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