I cockslap morals
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.