Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho