R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
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i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job