trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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