I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize