dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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