So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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