Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize