I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
