I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
