Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
