Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize