Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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