True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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