can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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