i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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