just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
as a side note pls kill me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
