grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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