there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
