i think my mom watched the whole time
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
