Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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