I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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