were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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