Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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