K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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