I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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