...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
MIDGETS
????
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
