I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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