Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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