White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
