Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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