i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
