how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
