Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
