Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
