You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
