he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize