If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
