we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
