I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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