Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
