Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
