So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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