K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
