i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
