In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
