I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
