I seem to have left my pride at pride
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
