how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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