He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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