he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
