I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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