if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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