So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize