Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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