I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there's paper in my vomit.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize