I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
