FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
