What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
