you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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