i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize