Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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