Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
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I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
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I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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